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:icongabrielraven:
Okay, so where do I start with this.
Frankly I'm very impressed. Your story is quite good and its also rather provocative. The idea itself is quite excellent.
I like how you're starting to blur the lines of what is fact and fiction in this story and trying to establish that for every fictional story, there is some fact involved.

I still like the interaction between the Katerina and Loki, which is always humorous. Again, I think that Loki's brutality is a little underplayed, but I'm just nitpicking. I think that the only part I don't fully understand is why Loki didn't try to prove his real identity BEFORE hand...it seems like he would. But that's just me. When he actually does, I think that the reaction is genuine and the responses are realistic.

One thing that strikes me as odd though, is when Katerina finally says that he isn't Loki. I understand her finally just saying it...but why did she wait so long? Why did she humor him for so long and pretend he was? If it was me, I probably would have brought it up a little bit sooner before he got himself into trouble....but again, I'm overanalyzing it.

For what it is, the story works and I like the premise it is going with. Very well done.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yay! I didn't screw up.....completely.
Thank you!
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:icongabrielraven:
GabrielRaven Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012   Writer
You're welcome. It was my pleasure.
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:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:) I'm glad I'm getting a little better at this. As for why Katerina didn't tell him earlier she figured it was a rather harmless thought so she let him continue. It was when he started showing signs of being power crazy that she decided enough was enough...little did she know he was telling the truth
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:icongabrielraven:
GabrielRaven Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012   Writer
I understand. It makes sense. I was just saying...that she probably should have brought it up before he got himself in trouble. That's all.
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:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
She didn't think he would
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:icongabrielraven:
GabrielRaven Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012   Writer
Haha! True.
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:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Katerina got that trait from me....
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