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:icongabrielraven: More from GabrielRaven

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September 9, 2012
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"Time to wake up, Rebecca." Rebecca rubbed her eyes sleepily. She hadn't gotten back home until 3 in the morning, and she was exhausted. Her body was stiff and she wanted nothing more than to just pass out, and forget about everything. Rebecca had a slight envy for vampires…they didn't have to wake up every morning, but instead got to enjoy the pleasures of the night. Some creatures get all the luck.
"Dad, do I have to?"
"You've got school today…so yes." Rebecca suddenly grabbed her pillow and shoved it over her face. She had TOTALLY forgotten about school! The summer was finally over and high school kicked back in. She was a senior in high school…and all 4 years had been a living hell! How could ANYONE survive school? There's no fun, no monsters, no weapons…it's all just classes and tests…which wouldn't be so bad if those classes taught Rebecca anything she WANTED to know.
"Dad, I hate school!"
"We'll have none of that, Rebecca…get dressed and come downstairs." She heard her dads footsteps disappear and she decided it was time to get up. Removing the pillow from her face she climbed out of bed and glanced around her room. It was your typical teenager room…there was a chest of drawers and a dresser against the wall. Her bed was a twin sized bed with blue sheets and, right next to it, was her desk. A bathroom was situated next to her room and, at the far corner was a closet with different assortments of clothes. She walked into her closet and began hunting for clothes. She eventually settled with a red t-shirt and jean shorts. Without putting on her shoes, Rebecca darted down the stairs to the kitchen, where breakfast and her father were waiting for her.

Jonah Anderson was a pastor at a local Baptist church. He was a strong and hardworking man. He was about 6 foot 4 with dark, greying hair. His eyes were a deep blue and he always had a warm look of kindness about him. Most of the people in town loved Rebecca's father, and with good reason, there wasn't a single lost soul that he wouldn't reach out too. Rebecca loved her dad, and she hated to see his heart broken, but he never really understood her love for monster hunting. He smiled as Rebecca walked into the room. He looked her over and grinned from ear to ear, she grinned back.
"Good morning, dad." Rebecca said, giving her father a hug.
"Do you think I was born yesterday, sweetheart?" He asked in reply. "I know that you were out all last night." Rebecca's smile suddenly faded.
"Did you honestly think I wouldn't figure it out?" he asked. Rebecca hung her head and let go of her dad.
"Dad, I'm really sorry."
"No you're not…you loved every minute of it." Rebecca gave a shadow of a smirk. "But you should have known better…it was a school night."
"Dad, you know I hate school." Rebecca turned and sat down at the table, staring at the eggs and bacon in front of her.
"But don't you want to make friends and learn something new?"
"Friends?!" Rebecca laughed. "You mean those giggling gossipy girls who do nothing but talk about boys all day and judge others based on their looks? No thanks!" She grabbed her fork and started shoveling the eggs into her mouth.
"Slow down, Rebecca!" her dad cried, "And you'll never make friends with that attitude." Rebecca shrugged and went back to her breakfast, which she finished in a matter of minutes. She had always tried to eat fast. As soon as she was finished she leaped from the table and prepared to run to her room.
"HOLD UP!" Rebecca stopped in her tracks. Her father was holding out his hand for her to come sit back down. She obeyed and took a seat across from him, looking him in the eyes. There was a seriousness in his gaze that she couldn't possibly ignore. "We need to talk about something very important." Rebecca leaned forward and nodded.

"Sweetheart…I made a promise to your mom," when he mentioned Rebecca's mom, Rebecca stiffened, trying to maintain her straight face, "that I would do my best to give you the best future that you could have. You have to go to school…so that I can keep that promise. If not for me…do it for your mother." Rebecca nodded, but her face didn't brighten.
"I'll go." Jonah stood up and rushed around the table to hug Rebecca.
"Thank you sweetie. I promise that I'll make it up to you later."
"How's that?" Rebecca asked gruffly. Jonah gave her a very nervous look.
"I have a few ideas…but we'll talk more about that later…now…go get ready for school, Rebecca." Rebecca left her dad's embrace and turned for the stairs. Her dad's words still weighing heavy on her mind…the promise he had made to her mom…it wounded her. She walked through the kitchen, into the den, and then up the stairs. Sitting by her room door was her backpack…empty and waiting to be filled with the books and binders that she had neglected to organize. She went to work filling it, but there was a pit in her stomach...while her bag grew heavier with the books, her heart grew heavy with the memories of her mom.

Susan Anderson was a beautiful woman and had meant the world to Rebecca. If anyone thought Rebecca was odd, then they could blame it on Susan…because Rebecca certainly took after her mother. Her loss had been a crippling blow to Rebecca, but more than her loss, it had been the manner at which she had been lost. Though the authorities never would admit it or accept it, Rebecca and her father new the truth…Susan Anderson had been attacked by a werewolf.
It was a memory that would forever haunt Rebecca. The day that the beast had attacked their home. It was the first time that she had ever believed monsters could exist. The memories of that low howl…the deafening roar…and then the scream. The scream of her mother was what frightened Rebecca more than anything else. Rebecca had only been 11 years old when the werewolf had killed her mother, and ever since, Rebecca has dedicated herself to hunting down the monsters and supernatural beasts that roam the earth.
Was it for revenge? No…revenge would be too simple an explanation for her actions. When Rebecca learned that it had been a werewolf, her eyes had been opened to the dark world of monsters and demons that stalked the earth…she hunted monsters for the reason that it was in memory of her mother more than for revenge. She knew that hunting the werewolf that had killed her mother would be a waste of time and would probably never be successful. So, when asking the question of "why," the answer be defined by a black and white perspective of revenge or retribution on all monsters. The real answer was so complicated that Rebecca herself didn't fully know her reasons…perhaps one day it would be clearer to her…but all she knew now was that monster hunting was what she loved to do…what she HAD to do…for her mom.

"Mom…I'll make you proud of me…" Rebecca whispered.
This chapter is boring...I'm going to warn you about that right off the bat. This chapter has no action in it, so if you enjoy reading my action parts, then you are going to be bored with this chapter. However, this chapter does have some important information that you will need to know.

I'd like to go ahead and say that this is one of the most difficult stories I've ever written...just creating the character of Rebecca has been very tricky, so I am hopeful that my work will not be in vain! Please let me know what you guys think!

Please Enjoy
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Shyanne-Kai Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012
Just one thing, try not to write any words in capital letters, it takes away from the piece, and the words should speak for themselves. As I said before, you're a good writer so the emphasis already comes through :)

I like the detail that her father is a pastor. It makes the monster-hunting even more exciting!

'when he mentioned Rebecca's mom, Rebecca stiffened, trying to maintain her straight face' - this is excellent exposition. With her simple reaction, it implies that something tragic happened to her mother and it's great that you don't have to take the reader out of the story to explain it :thumbsup:

Because of this, the end paragraph seemed forced. Perhaps instead of having a big bit of exposition here, weave it into the story, make the reader guess what happened to her with clues, but not outright say it yet. After all, we're only a couple of chapters in, and this mystery will give readers another reason to want to turn the page :)

Other than that, a good chapter of character development, and it wasn't boring.
GabrielRaven Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2012   Writer
Thanks for the advice. I'll work on that. And awww...I'm glad you think I'm a good enough writer to have the emphasis already come through.

Yep. I think that it works well too.

You are correct, I spent a lot of time debating what to do with that exposition...but there is a reason why I gave away the secret early. I appretate that you pointed this out helps me learn more about the way to write my stories.

Thank you so much for commenting on my work so far! It means a great deal!
Purgatoire Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Silly me wants to know where I can see the picture in original size :X
GabrielRaven Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2012   Writer
No problem.
You can see it there.
Purgatoire Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you! :)
KittykatMWuster Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
IT'S AMAZING. LIKE USUAL. This is really good ^^ even if it's just kind of a character introductory's helpful, and you wrote it while making it interesting (using your amazing descriptions again)
GabrielRaven Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012   Writer
I made it interesting? Hahaha! Thank you so much! You are just too nice!
Yuna-Lesca Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012  Hobbyist
Itīs great :heart:
GabrielRaven Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012   Writer
I'm so glad you like it!
What do you like about it?
Yuna-Lesca Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012  Hobbyist
Of course ^-^

Hmm..I like the reason, why Rebecca fights the monsters, it was interesting to learn more about her.
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