Helping Hands (Chapter 7)

My very first college class. Actually to be more accurate, it was my first real class. All my life I’d been home schooled by my parents, so this would be my first time in a real classroom setting! I was excited and nervous all at the same time. My hands were trembling a little and the weight of my backpack felt all that more strenuous as I made my way to Brittain Hall. Brittain Hall was three stories tall and very open. Connected to it was a bagel shop and there were 3 conference rooms. All the classrooms had large window walls that overlooked the outside parking lots and the rest of campus. It looked like some kind of fancy corporation building instead of a college classroom hall.
My classroom was on the second floor in room 212. I checked my schedule one more time to see what my class was and I was excited to see that I was in my Communications class. I walked inside to see the interesting set up of the classroom. There were a total of 16 long tables set up in rows of four by four in the room. There were two rolling chairs to each table and the wall in the front of the classroom had two whiteboards side by side with a message written on one saying “Welcome to Comm 150, from Professor Wendy Weinhold.” The wall at the back of the class was nothing but on large window that overlooked the parking lot, the road cutting through the campus called “Chanticleer Street,” and the pond outside of the HTC Athletic Center. It was a gorgeous view.

“Whoa! What’s up with you!?”
I turned around at the sudden voice and saw a few of the students gawking at my arms and I quickly flushed and hugged myself with them, waving with one arm.
“Oh…um…it’s just how I was born.” I explained.
“How were you born with four arms!?” The boy asked. I blushed again and gave him a short glare, not wanting to answer him.
“It’s called polymelia.” I muttered. I ignored the whispering and wandered to a seat in the far back of the class so that people wouldn’t instinctively stare at me. I simply watched people come in and tried my best to lean over the table so no one could easily see my arms. At long last another woman came in who looked in her 40’s. She erased the writing on the whiteboard and placed a binder on her podium. I quickly came to the conclusion this was Professor Weinhold. She smiled and addressed the class, which now seemed to consist of 18 or so students.

“Welcome to Comm 150.” She said kindly. “My name is Professor Weinhold. How many of you are first year students?” I raised my hand, along with 6 other students. “Well to those of you who just raised your hand, welcome to your first year at college. This is going to be a bit different from what you’re used to. I’ll confess this is only my second year here at Coastal and ya’ll will need to bare with me as I am still trying to make the transition.” The kind way in which she spoke put me at ease. Some of the other students weren’t paying her much attention and were just glancing at their phones or the clock, as if praying that the class would end soon.
“To get us started,” she continued, “I’d like you all to introduce yourself to the class. We’re going to go around the room. When I get to you, you need to tell me your name, your major, and one interesting thing about yourself.” I felt myself squirm a little. I knew what I wanted to say. My name was Jenna Corvus. My major was English Literature. And one interesting thing about me was my love of poetry and literature…but I knew that wouldn’t be the thing everyone founded ‘interesting’ about me. I bit my lip and inhaled through my nose hoping the intake of air would cleanse me of nervousness.

“My name is Robert.”
“I’m Jacob.”
“I’m Allison, but everyone calls me Allie.”
“Hey, I’m Taylor.”
“…Sorry, what’re we doing?”
“I’m Daiquan.”
The names kept coming and one by one student stood and spoke generic information about themselves. Some were rather interesting. One girl by the name of Andrea said she could speak 3 languages fluently. Others were clearly not interested, like a boy named ‘Bo Bo’ (a name I’m sure his parents didn’t give him) who had been texting and had no idea what was going on. That was when Professor Weinhold explained the no cellphone policy. Fortunately mine was off.
When she finally came to me I froze up for a moment. I knew what I was supposed to do…my name, major, and interesting thing about me, right? I stood up….and for some reason I couldn’t seem to remember my own name! Who was I again!? What was I doing? Stop being so nervous! My legs wouldn’t stop shaking! And the eyes that fell on my arms weren’t helping matters at all. The moment I stood there was nothing to hide my arms anymore.
“M-my name is Jenna Corvus.” I muttered.
“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” Professor Weinhold encouraged.
“I said, my name is Jenna Corvus!” I said louder.
“And what’s your major, Jenna?”
“English Literature.” I said in the same loud voice.
“Now tell us something interesting about yourself.” Professor Weinhold said. I felt my breath and voice catch in my throat. What was I to do? If I brought up anything other than my arms, then people weren’t going to listen. But if I did bring up my arms, I would simply be certifying myself as a weirdo.
“Well…I…”
“What’s something you like to do?” She asked, clearly able to sense my discomfort. I felt myself starting to calm down a little. Was she trying to steer me away from the topic of my arms?
“I…I like to read and write. I love poetry and stuff.” I answered.
“Really? Do you want to be published?” She asked.
“I hope so.” I answered. She smiled and then moved on to the next student and I sat down, breathing a sigh of relief. I was definitely not cut out for public speaking. Some eyes were still locked on me, but at that moment I didn’t really care. I could breathe easily again.

“Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, let me pass out your syllabus and we’ll go over the rules.” I watched as she passed around papers with instructions and policies on them. When I got mine I read it front to back before she was even done talking. It was all pretty standard stuff about homework, a quiz every other week, 4 tests, and a 5 tardy policy. The rules were strict too. There were no excused absences at all, so it was vital for me to show up on time for every class.
“Now, since it’s the first day, I’m going to be nice to you guys and let you go early. First I want you all to take out a piece of paper and write down what YOU think Communications is all about. I want you to tell me what your preconceived notions about this subject are.” The class flew to their backpacks to begin the assignment and I had paper out and ready. I thought for a while about what I thought communications was about and finally wrote a simple two sentence answer: ‘Communications, to me, is the idea of spreading information or ideals with others. It could also simply be how one goes about making information available.’ After I was done I walked up to her to hand her my paper. She smiled and took the paper.
“Jenna, right?” She asked.
“Yes?” I said.
“Mind if I speak with you a moment in the hallway?” She asked. I nodded and we walked outside into the hallway. Once the door was closed she turned to look at me.
“Yes ma’am?” I asked, a little concerned.
“When you stood up today, it was very obvious you were scared about something. Is there a problem? Someone in the class who’s been bothering you or is there an issue I can help with?” I blinked a few times shocked by her questions. Wasn’t it obvious what had made me so nervous?
“No ma’am…it’s just I thought you or someone else would ask about my polymelia.” I said. “People have been kind of staring at me about this for…a while.”
“Oh! I assure you that won’t be a problem in my classroom.” Professor Weinhold laughed. “Believe me, in a few weeks time, it won’t even be a big deal anymore. There’s no need to be worked up about that, Jenna.” I smiled and nodded.
“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize, I was just worried there was an issue we needed to straighten out.” I shook my head and smiled back, glad to have this problem figured out and relieved my teacher was so understanding. With each new person I met at college, it seemed I kept meeting amazing people who didn’t treat me like a freak for my arms. It was a strange pattern I was experiencing. I’d meet someone like Logan, David, or Professor Weinhold and I’d feel so wonderful and happy to be me, but then I’d leave and for the next hour or so I’d have students walking by me staring at my arms and some even gawking. It’d bring me down from that high I was experiencing at the hands of just a few simple words of encouragement.

I left the class and hurried off towards my next class. I had about an hour until I needed to be there, but I thought it might be a good idea to swing by the library on my way to see what kind of books they had there.
“Jenna!” I stopped and spun around to see David walking by with a girl and a boy, both wearing similar teal polo shirts like him! They had on golden name tags on their chests and stitched writing saying “University Housing” on them. He smiled and walked towards me and I grinned.
“Hey David!” I said.
“Hey, you done with your first class?” He asked. “Everything go well?”
“Yes, it went well.” I answered. He turned to the girl and boy with him and called them over.
“Ricky! Kat! This is one of my residents, Jenna. She’s the one I told you about.” David explained.
“Hey, nice to meet you.” Ricky said, holding out his hand. I took it and shook and Ricky winked playfully. “So tell me, are you a ‘hands on’ kind of person?”
“Oh shove it, Ricky.” Kat laughed. “I’m sorry about him, he’s a moron, but he’s harmless.” It was the strangest thing. The other day when I’d been made fun of about my arms, I’d felt so much anger and frustration…but Ricky’s comment didn’t make me angry. It made me want to laugh. It was all in HOW he said it. I couldn’t quite place the difference, but in this instance it was more private…it felt less cold…and his smile wasn’t mocking but almost playful.
“It’s okay.” I laughed. “It’s funny.”
“You hear that, Kat? I’m FUNNY!” Ricky proclaimed. “She just confirmed it.”
“Well statistically speaking SOMEONE on this campus would find you funny Ricky.” Kat whispered.
“Don’t confuse me with your math speak!” Rick shoved her a little and David shook his head.
“They’re on staff with me, they’re RA’s too. In fact Kat lives in the building right next to ours and Ricky lives three buildings down. He also helps work at the HTC Athletic center as a trainer. You should drop by and see him.”
“Really?” I asked. The truth was I had not given much thought to how athletically active I would be, and my primary concern at the moment was just getting through my classes and getting good grades.
“Oh yeah, it’s a great way to get fit and meet people.” David offered. “You wanna make connections here? The best way is to get involved with stuff.”
“Look at you, giving advice and stuff.” Ricky laughed, slapping David on the back. “Our little boy’s growing up.” I looked from Ricky to David with a questioning look and David must have seen it because he blushed.
“Yeah…this is actually my first semester as an RA, so I’m kind of new at it. But don’t worry, I’m perfectly capable.” David explained. I stopped myself from gasping in surprise. David looked and acted so disciplined and professional it was hard to believe he wasn’t in this position any longer than a few weeks!
“Yeah, you and David have that in common too.” Ricky explained. “You’re both trying new things.”
“Yeah I suppose we are.” I agreed.
“Ricky stop being an idiot.” Kat snapped.
“NEVER!”
“Sorry about them, but we do need to get going. We have a staff meeting. Where’re you headed?” David asked.
“I’m trying to get to the library.” I answered.
“If you keep going down this sidewalk and take a right, it’ll be right in front of you.” David explained. “Have a good one. See you tonight at the in hall meeting.” I waved and hurried to find the library, positively beaming from getting to meet two more people who liked me for who I was. And it was such a relief to feel like I wasn’t the only one outside of my element. Just how nervous and out of place had David felt when he started? Did he feel just as awkward as I did when he began as an RA? Did Kat and Ricky feel that way too sometimes? It was wonderful to know that I wasn’t nearly as alone as I felt sometimes. I had a teacher, a roommate, and three RA’s who understood me…and wanted to help me. My thoughts were now far from the books that I would be looking at, but now on just how lucky I was to have met such awesome people.
“I can’t wait to tell Sam about them!" As I walked, I heard the sound of a bird overhead. It sang merrily and it matched the tune of my heart. And in my mind, I recalled a poem by Emily Dickenson.

"Hope" is the thing without feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without words
And never stops at all

Hope. Hope was perched in my soul.