Deaths Diary (Entry 51)

Entry Fifty-one

What is your favorite time of the day? For me it’s dusk…the moment when the sun has just slipped beneath the horizon and the sky is painted every shade of orange and purple. The gorgeous instance when the day gives way to the night. Often times I get so caught up in that moment that I will stand transfixed even long after the colors have gone…and only the chill of the evening will snap me out of it again. It’s such a hypnotizing view, isn’t it? If you’ve never just sat down and stared at a sunset before, I urge you to do so…it’s a very beautiful sight to behold. In fact, I am sitting on a hillside staring at one as I write this. I find it helps me clear my head.

I’m sure some of you are surprised by me…some of you probably don’t think of this kind of behavior and attitude when you think of Death. Don’t be upset by this. I’m not surprised. Most people don’t expect me to love sunsets, listen to music, and actually have a soft spot for children. I’m actually a pretty deep person when you get to know me. The problem is…most people don’t try to get to know me, and that’s the sad fact of my existence. But to be fair…I wonder if that’s the case for everyone. People just don’t take the time to really understand one another.
How often have you felt excluded…unwanted and alone? Everyone says it’s your fault for not trying to branch out and meet people or get to know them…but maybe that’s only half of the problem. Maybe the other half is that some people just don’t want to get to know you. This is a very common problem that I’ve had to deal with since my conception. People fear and hate what they do not know or understand…but rather than try to understand it, they push it away and try to pretend like it’s not there…or worse they attack it and ridicule it. I would complain that I’m the only one who feels this way, but I’m not. Many people feel this way as well, I know. And when someone doesn’t try to understand someone better, it leads them to make rash assumptions that are not always true.
Take me for example. The other day someone called me “angsty.” They said that, considering how long I’ve been alive and how much I’ve done, I should be used to the things I’ve seen and done by now and not have such a dark outlook on them. Yes…because that’s how it works, isn’t it? I only see suffering, disease, and death on a near daily basis. Obviously I wouldn’t have any negative outlook on such things after all this time right?
Now don’t misunderstand me…I’m used to my job. There is nothing difficult about it for me and sometimes I find it quite easy to do. My job is not one that is difficult in a physical sense…but rather in a moral sense. It’s not something you can understand easily until you’ve done it yourself…and thankfully you never will have to do it yourself. Because you’re not me…you’re not Death. And it is this fact that seperates us…that makes it so hard for you to understand me and my being. I do not wish to be strange to you, but rather to better help you understand who I am…and why I do the things I do. Why my job is so important and why it can be such a chore.
The reason I’m telling you all this is because I want everyone in the world to take a little time out of their day and prejudice attitudes so they can talk to and get to know someone else. Take the time to think…learn…grow. Go sit and watch a sunset once and a while. Don’t spend every day hating and fearing that person or that thing that you don’t get or understand. I believe there is a Bible verse about that somewhere in 1 Peter, but it slips my mind at the moment, and I’m not near a Bible right now. The point I’m making is that you can’t let fear of the unknown stop you from pursuing what is right and just. I feel like many of the problems in the world come from miscommunications and misunderstandings of the unknown. It sure is what makes people so terrified of me, after all.

Some day, there will be no need for such silly fears and superstitions. The hatred and prejudice that seems to infest most people in this world will fade from memory as well. Some day I hope that there will no longer be a need for my job and I can finally be able to be free of it. But until that day comes, I shall continue to do the job I have been tasked and I shall continue to write this diary so that, hopefully someone will read it and want to get to know me a little better. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
The sun has begun its final decent downward. Take the time to look at that glow…appreciate it and let it illuminate your mind. Breathe in the air and know that you are alive…because life is precious. Don’t live it in fear and in hatred. Trust me. It can only hurt you and others.

Sincerely,

A.D