Deaths Diary (Entry 31)

Entry Thirty-One

I would like to take a moment to discuss my job. I have talked about many memories and I have brought up my view points on very many things...but I don't really talk about my job that often. I feel like this is something that I should have brought up earlier. So, for that reason, I shall take the time to explain how and why I do what I do.

There are many who believe that they can do what I do...others believe that my job is a sinister affair, and thus label me as a "Grim Reaper." As I've said before, I am not a grim reaper. I am not skeleton in a dark cloak, and I do not carry a large scythe to cut down innocent people. The fact is that my job just doesn't work that way. The reaper concept leads to the belief that when I come for a soul, I cleave through the person with a blade and remove the soul as it kicks and screams in my hands. Then some have followed this up by claiming that I escort the soul to Hell...which is again false. The further I am from that damned place, the happier I'll be.
Let me make it clear that it is not so gruesome and horrid. The method is actually very straightforward. When I come to meet someone whose time has come, I kneel next to their body or vessel (the body is a simple shell that contains the soul...it is meaningless to me), and I reach into their body. I do not grab for an organ or for a piece of the body...I take that which makes the body whole. I take hold of the soul (which is very warm, actually) and I carefully extract it from the body. When the soul is removed, the vessel ceases to function, but the soul remains.
What does a soul look and feel like? I can't describe it in words that you would understand. I can say that a soul is warm...very warm. Otherwise, I'm afraid that I cannot tell you. It's not that I don't want to...but it's just that I don't know how to explain it. One day, you will know though. It's actually very funny...how you humans can have so many languages, but none are truly able to describe and explain everything. It's quite amusing...but I digress.

Let me make this point very clear about my job: I do not pick and choose who will die. That comes from The Lord...he makes that decision. Also, don't make the mistake in believing that I can argue about this. I can't just say "No, I won't take this person," because this goes against the plan of God...and I cannot disobey my Creator. Besides, even if I did, odds are that it would cause a rift in the way of things. When a person's time is up, then your time is up...and I cannot change that.
If you do not believe me, then let me give you the example of Julius Caesar...the Roman Emperor who was assassinated. Let's pretend for a moment that I decided not to take his soul, what do you think would have happened if he had lived? I don't know...and neither do you. Odds are he would have killed his attempted assassins, continued to control Rome with an iron fist, and would go on to do many things...all of which would have changed history as we know it. Do you see how the death of one person can alter the course of history and how things work. I can't just decide who lives and who dies....if I started doing that, then we'd have a very strange and chaotic world. The only one with the right to determine who lives and who dies is the One who created life and me in the first place.

So it all seems easy right? I have to take someones soul and move on, easy right? After all, Julius Caesar was a dictator...Adolf Hitler was an evil and twisted man...and those who die on the battlefield are just soldiers right? Yes, there are times where my job is easier than others. I did not weep for Adolf Hitler, and I did not flinch at Julius Caesar. The line is pretty black and white...there are those who deserve to live and those who deserve to die....right?
No...if it were that easy, then anyone could do my job. There are times where people who deserve to meet me, evade my grasp...and those who deserved a longer life, were met by my embrace instead. I'll give you a great example. Not too long ago there was a shooting at an elementary school in Connecticut. You all heard about it, I'm sure. It was a devastating event...an event that was so heartbreaking and catastrophic that, even now, there are debates about adding new gun restriction laws. I am not going to discuss my views on the gun laws right now, but I will make this argument: Guns do not kill people. Any fool with the desire to kill can find away, with or without a gun. Guns are merely a tool in the hands of a killer.
As for the shooting itself, I'm sure I don't need to describe what I saw...but I will tell you that I cried that day. I love children...they are so full of life and they have so much potential. They grow, learn, experiment, play, and they try. They are such symbols are innocence...and they deserve the chance to live life and experience all that it has to offer. So when a child's life is cut short so abruptly, it is almost a crime of nature as much as man. Every fiber in my being wanted to stand back. I wanted nothing more than to go elsewhere and let the children live...but as I told you before...I don't get to make that choice.
If it is any consolation...I was very careful with their souls. I took care of them and I treated them with all the gentleness I could. As for the shooter, I was careful with his soul as well...and I even cried for him. However, my tears were not for his loss, but for his actions. You might believe that I am used to such things by now. After all, I have seen such horrible events before...many times in fact. However, it doesn't matter how often I see it, it still hurts. Perhaps that this is a sign that I myself still have a heart. Yes...Death has a heart. The truth is that I do not understand what leads people to do such things...and I do not know why this boy (he was 20 years old, but in my eyes, he was but a child as well), wanted to cause such a horrible disaster. However, I didn't ask...I didn't want to. I simply carried him away as well.

That is the real tragedy of my job. It's not such a simple task...and it is not something that  can be done with the snap of a finger. How can something be so easy to do...and yet so complicated and difficult to actually carry out? It's kind of ironic that I am not the boss of my own job. I am Death, but I am not the master of myself...for my master is also the master of Life. There was in fact a day where He demonstrated his power over me very clearly...for all the world to see. In fact, you are preparing to celebrate this day very soon. Perhaps I will tell you about that day...and how it all happened. But that is for another time. I have to get back to work...whether I want to or not.
Before I go however, one last word: Despite what you have heard today...please understand that all things happen for a reason. God does not make my schedule the way it is without purpose and without something in mind. Sometimes it isn't fair...but rest assured that I am not unkind.

Sincerely,

A.D